For Millennials. By Millennials.
Bretman Rock never fails to amaze fans with his witty and funny personality. He recently created four social distancing looks which were super hot and hilarious. I guess the coronavirus lockdown is getting to all of us.
I don’t even know how Bretman comes up with such crazy yet new and hilarious ideas each day. From changing the color of his hair to becoming a plant lady, Bretman surely knows how to keep himself pretty much occupied.
You All Are Dirty Minded
Guys, now as you all know Bretman Rock has a thing for Bananas. And by Bananas I mean the actual yellow and green fruit with hints of black. So now all of you can put your naughty and wild imaginations in a dustbin. Because there is no Banana-Monkey business going on here.
Bretman’s workout routine is as complicated as my long-distance relationship with my pretend boyfriend. Plus, who is going to rescue your energy system and give it an instant boost before a workout? Your pretend or actual boyfriend’s Banana? Uhh no!
So here come the real fruity Bananas to the rescue. You can eat 1-2 Bananas before almost half an hour of your workout. You can eat them after the workout too, if you feel like you are totally drained or about to pass out.
Bananas are also a rich source of potassium and antioxidants, which save you from muscle cramps. So if you are going down on somebody and feel like your legs are about to give out in a minute or two. Then you need to switch to the real Bananas. *wink wink*
Bretman’s hair is kind of twinning with the Banana. Or maybe I am colorblind. He looks bored out of his mind too. Just like we all do before the workout.
Seems like Bretman is totally enjoying his post-workout snack.
Let’s Go Bananas Like Bretman Rock
If you’re bored during this coronavirus lockdown and your energy level is literally zero. You need to play this song on repeat until you get your lazy a*s out of the bed. And start dancing like Bretman the baddest B**ch in 3,2,1…
Alright, 2 Scoops For Your Dirty Thoughts
So if you want to eat a Banana with style, learn it from my babe Bretman. You can always clean your mouth with your hand or a tissue paper if things start to get a little messy.
And if you get bored with the botanical berry (Banana), you can switch to coconut water or whatever suits you the best.
Bretman is teaching ‘how to swallow without closing your mouth’. And while teaching his great talent to the world, he goes like,
“Eww. That was so f**k*ng gross. why am I making this tutorial?”
This dude right here makes these type of videos and then say,
“Why the F*ck do I put sh*t like this on the internet.”
You do it for our entertainment and we totally love you for this. And the 4.4 million views explain everything.
So keep eating bananas because they are healthy. Even if you can’t look at them the same way as before!