For Millennials. By Millennials.
YouTuber Abelina Sabrina made a video detailing her horrific pregnancy and the surgery she had to take in order to save her life. So, a few years ago, Sabrina got pregnant with her then-boyfriend. She reveals that she went to the doctor’s to confirm it.
Related: Meghan Markle reveals she had a Miscarriage
The YouTuber was very candid and said she didn’t want to have this pregnancy and the loops she went to in order to terminate it, was very difficult.
She said, the health-care company (Kaiser Permanente) didn’t let her get an abortion easily. They referred her to Planned Parenthood and every step of the way, the healthcare staff made her feel bad about wanting to terminate her pregnancy. They kept asking if she was sure, which she was at that time.
Apart from that, Sabrina added that her partner at that time also didn’t want her to be pregnant. And he kept pressuring her into getting an abortion, without actually asking her if she wants it or not. Abelina Sabrina says that while a baby was growing in her, her body felt the need to protect it. All the while, healthcare staff was making her feel terrible about getting an abortion. Which her partner was pressuring her to do, entirely disregarding her feelings for the tiny human growing inside her.
So, it was really scary to be receiving all this conflicting pressure from medical staff. And your body to not do it and then being pressured by your partner to do it. It felt like I didn’t even have a choice. It really felt like I wasn’t even allowed to consider what would happen um if i didn’t.
She highlighted the fact that she always wanted to terminate it from her choice too but she was scared because she was being pressured from her boyfriend.
He would say, ‘No, it’s not even a question. You’re gonna ruin my life if you do that. That would be the worst thing to ever happen to me.’ He even said that he would break up with me if I didn’t do it. And that he would resent me and the potential child.
When she went to Planned Parenthood to get an abortion, they told her to come back later when she was more far along. Because oddly enough, they couldn’t see anything when doing an ultrasound.
Suddenly, Abelina started to feel a lot of pain and went to go see multiple doctors. But none of them took her seriously, and dismissed her complaints. One of the staff even said that she is having a miscarriage and that she should bleed it out at home. They even denied her multiple requests to get detailed imaging. Which gives a detailed idea on what’s happening in the uterus and stomach.
One day, she woke up at 4 am from extreme pain in her lower abdomen and went to the hospital to get it checked. The healthcare staff still didn’t do an intensive imaging, but just prescribed her some Tylenol (a painkiller medication). Abelina also revealed that she lost her appetite at this point because it hurt her stomach when she ate anything. But despite not eating at all, her stomach grew in size. The advice nurse still didn’t take it seriously and said that it’s probably gas.
A few days later, Abelina got unbearable pain when she was at work
Abelina Sabrina recalls telling her boyfriend. But he didn’t come right away because he said he had some work thing to do.
So, I had to go to the hospital alone. I was there for about four hours by myself. Most of it in the waiting room. Just feeling like I’m dying the whole time. And finally they call me back and they do tests and imaging.
And the technicians don’t tell her what they saw in the imaging. However, they do give her a hint that something is wrong. Her boyfriend comes right in time when the doctors tell her the diagnosis.
I had an ectopic pregnancy in my left Fallopian tube, it ruptured. I’ve been bleeding internally ever since. They were surprised I wasn’t dead. Then if I don’t have surgery right then and there I was going to die for sure. And as an added bonus the surgery might not go well. I might die during that too.
Ectopic surgery is when the baby grows outside the uterus.
Abelina Sabrina emotionally shares that she had to go for the surgery otherwise she would die. At that point, she felt powerless and not in control of her body and her life.
It just really felt like my body my choice never got to even apply to me and that part really sucked.
She further shared that she stills suffers from PTSD due to the traumatic experience and the aftermath of it. Abelina shared that half of her ovaries are gone. Whenever she would get pregnant again, it would be dangerous for her.
Moreover, the healthcare facility that she was in just wheeled her out at 3 am after the surgery. Without even asking her permission for it. She was still sedated under general anesthesia and her boyfriend had to drive her to his home.
Abelina Sabrina detailed that she couldn’t tell her family or her friends, she could only rely on her boyfriend who made her feel out to be a burden
Abelina found it difficult to tell her family what had happened. She called her mother and sister but lied and said she was at the hospital to get treatment for an ovarian cyst. Moreover, she could not tell any of her friends either.
This thing has changed my life so much. I am not the same person I used to be. Because after that not only do you have like the natural postpartum of not being pregnant anymore. [But] my hormones after that rupture were just all over the place. There were like some little complications even from surgery after. I would just have lots of random moments of just being thrown into that feeling of what it felt to be just dying all over again at random. I had no control over it. And the only person I could really lean on was my boyfriend. Because I couldn’t tell anybody. And I don’t fully blame him because that is a lot of responsibility to put on a single person.
The only person she could lean on was her boyfriend who wasn’t compassionate or caring for her at all. He was emotionally abusive, he would often disregard her and her pain. And wouldn’t believe what she was saying, thinking that she was exaggerating her symptoms.
As a result, Abelina Sabrina mostly kept to herself even when she had painful episodes of where she thought she was about to die again.
She only came to ask for his help when she was physically and mentally unable to drive herself to the hospital and was in a lot of pain. Even then, her boyfriend was skeptical of her and told the healthcare staff that she was exaggerating. He made her feel like a burden, he got sick of her and started to resent her:
I had just broken for a really long time. And I was trying to put myself through therapy. I would try to take myself to the doctor whenever you know stuff would spike. It was just the worst. My boyfriend started to resent me. So, I tried bottling it up even more and not telling him until I was absolutely certain that I needed to go to the doctor.
Abelina Sabrina even mentioned how her boyfriend said that if he were anyone else, he wouldn’t even be her boyfriend anymore.
So, she had to go through all the pain alone without having anyone to rely on. Fortunately, she did keep going to therapy and tried to get better on her own. She wanted to open up about her experience because she wanted more people to be aware of ectopic pregnancies and women healthcare. Abelina added that if the healthcare staff would have done an intensive imaging right from the start, they would have found out about the ectopic pregnancy. And her life-threatening surgery for her ruptured Fallopian tube could have been avoided.
She said that she hasn’t felt like herself in a long time but she is slowly moving towards her bubbly energetic self.
Abelina didn’t name the year this incident happened or her boyfriend. But many made a guess it was Gus Johnson, a popular YouTuber and Twitch streamer. He made an apology on Twitter saying that he’s taking some time off from social media and work.
Update: Abelina Sabrina Rejects Ex-Boyfriend Gus Johnson’s Apology Over Her Tough Pregnancy Period