Meghan Markle reveals she had a Miscarriage
It’s no secret that Meghan Markle had a tremendously difficult time as a part of the British Royal Family. However, her difficulties did not just end there. In a recent essay that was published in the New York Times, Markle reveals that she had a miscarriage in July. She further shared the “unbearable grief” she went through with her husband, Prince Harry.
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Meghan Markle writes of the pain she and Prince Harry went through after her miscarriage
In the essay, Markle explained the sharp pain she felt as she held her and Prince Harry’s 18-month-old son, Archie. She wrote:
After changing his diaper, I felt a sharp cramp. I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right. I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second.
Later on, Meghan Markle reveals the emotions she went through with her husband, Prince Harry, in her hospital bed after the miscarriage:
Hours later, I lay in a hospital bed, holding my husband’s hand. I felt the clamminess of his palm and kissed his knuckles, wet from both our tears. Staring at the cold white walls, my eyes glazed over. I tried to imagine how we’d heal.
This ordeal reminded Meghan Markle of a journalist in South Africa, who asked her if she was OK:
‘Are you OK?’ a journalist asked me. I answered him honestly … My off-the-cuff reply seemed to give people permission to speak their truth. But it wasn’t responding honestly that helped me most, it was the question itself.
And so, Markle decided to ask Harry the same question as she lay on her hospital bed. She wrote in the essay:
Sitting in a hospital bed, watching my husband’s heart break as he tried to hold the shattered pieces of mine, I realized that the only way to begin to heal is to first ask, ‘Are you OK?’
She also wrote how miscarriage continues to be a “taboo” topic
Meghan Markle further wrote how, despite many having shared experiences, miscarriages continue to be a “taboo” topic to discuss. She explains:
Losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief, experienced by many but talked about by few. Despite the staggering commonality of this pain, the conversation remains taboo, riddled with (unwarranted) shame, and perpetuating a cycle of solitary mourning.
Finally, Meghan Markle focuses on empathy and the basic human trait of listening to others. When you do so without any form of judgment, and with an intention to help, then it helps those in grief. She wrote:
We have learned that when people ask how any of us are doing, and when they really listen to the answer, with an open heart and mind, the load of grief often becomes lighter — for all of us. In being invited to share our pain, together we take the first steps toward healing.
The pain of being a target of a racially charged media was already difficult to deal with. But, to then go through the pain of losing your unborn child is incalculable. Miscarriage is a sad reality. Every mother prays she doesn’t have to bear this pain, yet some do. And it should now be important to share this grief with others, in order to relieve the pain. You can read Meghan Markle’s full essay here.