For Millennials. By Millennials.

The Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina Trailer Review

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The last time we had Sabrina on our screens, was when she had us burst into laughter through the 90’s Sabrina the teenage witch. Now that she is back, there are so many weird angles that one could think of. Netflix recently aired a trailer of its upcoming supernatural mystery drama that simply gave us chills. Set in Vancouver, British Columbia, Sabrina is all set to entertain us with her upcoming eerily demented narrative in The Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina.

How Chilling Adventures of Sabrina trailer starts

The 64-second trailer gives more spoilers than what we had thought of it to be. Things begin, as a very unpretentious vanilla cake adorned with several carmine candles approaches literal nothingness. We hear nothing, but a sinister voice-over in the trailer’s first few seconds. Someone, or maybe some people are reciting the happy birthday rhyme very inexplicably American Horror Storyishly, and the scene keeps on coming and going just to give that unearthly impression on our minds. Creepy birthday songs in pitch-dark voids are now a very signature statement for horror shows. Scenes so clichéd that they don’t excite us anymore, let alone scare us.

Everyone knows the birthday song already, so there is obviously no need for a complete recital. The trailer thankfully realizes this and shifts to other clips that pass by before our eyes in splits of seconds. There are literal moments where we would scream at the screen to stop; our rewind and pause to check what the trailer actually wanted to show. Since of course, it is a show about witches, generosity is a real thing. The prevalent twilight delivers a statement: things are going to be glum, morose and uncertain. Now obviously, this is not something we already don’t know. There was no point in switching off the lights for this.

We see a book store

While it remains beyond our comprehension why a birthday is being celebrated at a mortuary, the trailer also teases a book store. ‘Cerberus Books’ strangely open at way past midnight, and popping distinctively with a red LED display. More bizarrely, it sells skeletons not books. Once over with the uncanny funeral parlors, and skeleton-selling book stores; we are introduced to a seemingly perfect high school. A blonde red-hood clad girl walks down the drab corridors of this new setting with utter sass. Scene cut again, “Minotaur Monster “, we scream as a frightening humanoid goat takes over the screen for a millisecond.

The sequence of entirely unrelated, abstract set-ups does not culminate here. The next second we are in a Hogwart inspired classroom. There is a professor dressed in a silly magician’s cloak trying to teach some magic to his surprisingly attentive class under the most ill-lit stratosphere. And, his students are not on their phones; they are taking notes. No wonder they have been bewitched.

We enter the woods

There are also The Trix from Winx Club, standing aimlessly in the middle of the woods. And obviously, how can a trailer for a teen drama hold back from doing some fan service. There is dancing at parties followed by a very conventional classic white couple kiss. Oh wait, the Trix are back again. And, they look quite different from how they looked earlier. With alien-like faces, they walk out of a cave leaving some boys back there. No, don’t worry they haven’t killed them. They have just stripped them naked.

Since the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina is about a witch, there is genuinely some black magic going on. Strange disappearances, Cinderellas rushing down hills, gothic diaries, and screeching children characterize the next few moments. And then suddenly Minotaur Monster is back. His dark silhouette walks down a trail set ablaze.

In the end, the trailer manages to explain one thing; the cake. It is Sabrina’s birthday and she is celebrating her day with all her friends. It’s a gala there are creepy blood-thirsty ghastly monsters on one side of the table, and apparently perfectly human white boys on the side across it. Sabrina heads the table and the Minotaur positions itself just opposite her.

The trailer now not as inspired as my perspective of it probably is. It does; however, redo a lot of things; except of course the Minotaur Monster. Makers did a better job at planning Riverdale than they did with this ghost goes to school concept.

The first season of Chilling Adventures of Sabrina premieres on Netflix on October 26, 2018.

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