Jeffree Star, the famous YouTuber, just posted a video sharing more personal details of his dark life and after the Shane Dawson’s 5 part series of the secret life of Jeffree Star came out. The makeup star was apprehensive about opening up about his life and of how the audience will react to Shane Dawson’s series but since the response was so positive, Jeffree decided to show more about his life.
I’ve been trying to film a video for a few days now and it’s been hard. But tonight it’s time to sit down and reveal a few more secrets I didn’t reveal to @shanedawson ? I’m scared but I think it’s necessary to open up more…
— Jeffree Star (@JeffreeStar) August 18, 2018
A few days ago he tweeted this. Today, the video is out. It’s a very emotional video where Jeffree shares details he left out in the series. It was something Jeffree was clearly hiding for a very long time as the details will shock everyone. The 25 minutes video explores two topics in-depth: his self-harming and the relationship with his mom.
Self-Harming to Healing
Jeffree Star states that he was guilty for lying in the Shane Dawson’s 5 part series because he said that he hasn’t cut himself in over 10 years. It was actually 4 years since he had cut himself. He already told us that 4 years ago he was in a very dark place in his life. His music career ended and he was bankrupt and the future was so uncertain. He took everything he had to his makeup brand, not knowing what will happen. He spent days alone where he was misunderstood and hurt by others constantly. In the video, Jeffree says that he was at a point where he felt nothing and so hollow that he had to hurt himself just to feel something.
“I needed to hurt myself just to feel like I was even real”
It’s certainly heartbreaking that he had to go through that but it is very brave of him to share those personal details of his life because he is encouraging people to not be ashamed of their scars. He urges everyone to be okay with feeling this way sometimes, it’s okay to feel these cascading emotions, and it’s okay to be human.
Jeffree Star shares that after doing it for years on end there came a time where self-harm didn’t seem to make him feel better, just more hollow and lost. It was like a “sick game” in his that finally stopped. For anyone who’s been tempted to self-harm, it rings very true. It’s like a compulsion that’s so hard to remove. But Jeffree Star shares that one day it does go away and the agony does end. He also encourages everyone to be okay to relapse at times because it’s a very human thing to do but he encourages everyone to work through it like he did.
He also talked about how talking about it with Shane Dawson helped him feel not alone and heal because he felt like Shane was someone that could relate to his own pain. After the fans shared their stories, he felt even less alone. He also sent a beautiful message of getting the people to be more compassionate to those around them because you never know what battle someone is going through inside their heads.
His Fractured Relationship With His Mother to Now
Jeffree Star then went on to talk about his fractured relationship with his mother and the fact that the woman we often see in the Instagram posts are actually not his mother.
He shares that the woman is actually his aunt who was like a mother to him so he just called her that on the internet. When everyone started believing she was the mother, he just didn’t know how to correct it and went with it. It’s because of the fact that he had not spoken to his real mother in over 10 years.
He never got along with his real mother and had a lot of fights with her. The relationship, he shares, was very painful and hard for him all those years ago. Their personalities always used to clash with one another and Jeffree was always closed off so he says he can see why having a relationship with him was hard for his own mother. But after almost ten years, Jeffree got his mother’s number from a family member and called her.
Jeffree’s mother told him that she had been homeless for four years and living in the trunk of her car. Jeffree Star’s emotions were clearly seen with his watery eyes and breaking voice as he told everyone this huge secret of his. He clearly felt a lot of things and just couldn’t image his own birth mother leading such a difficult life.
He shares that he then tried to help her out and change her living conditions. It’s so heartwarming to see someone reconnect after years of no contact. Especially since they had such a painful relationship before. With it, Jeffree also gives us a beautiful message of not letting the past beat you down and of second chances.
He himself explains it in a tweet:
It’s time to heal.
— Jeffree Star (@JeffreeStar) August 19, 2018