Blaire White: “Dysmorphia replaced my dysphoria”
Blaire White opened up about her eating disorder with a special video with Trisha Paytas. Fans got to see a side of Blaire White that many people were seeing for the very first time. In an emotional video, we came to know that Blaire White’s gender dysphoria transformed into body dysmorphia when she transitioned into a woman.
Blaire White Struggle With Bulimia:
The YouTuber shares how bulimia isn’t just one specific thing and narrates her own experience:
Usually, I start myself a lot. So, I’ll go like 24 to 48 hours without eating. So, a lot of people don’t know that bulimia is defined as abusing – like making yourself puke. But it also can be defined by abusing like laxatives. Oh, so I really struggle with that.
Moreover, Trisha Paytas and Blaire White talked about how the eating disorder is usually just associated with anorexia. In actuality, it is quite a diverse disorder that encompasses many issues such as body dysmorphia. Blaire shares:
I’m like kind of skinny but i’m not like the typical like image of someone who is suffering from anorexia. Like i’m not like real thin but that doesn’t really determine if someone’s suffering with it. There’s like eating disorder and then body dysmorphia which kind of goes like hand and hands. I feel like the people who have eating disorders have body dysmorphia. Because you think that you’re bigger than you are.
Blaire White also mentioned a story in the video where she thought she was looking very overweight in the mirror. But then her boyfriend Joey took a picture of her and proved her otherwise. That is when Blaire realized that it’s a complicated mental disorder.
Blaire White also told the audience that ever since she started overthinking on her body image, she has become addicted to exercising in an unhealthy way. She’ll eat normally in a week. Then at the weekend, she would have a ‘crazy fitness day’ where she would do intensive workout and not eat anything.
Blaire White on how her body image views changed as she transitioned into a woman
The transgender YouTuber talked about ultimately these eating disorders revolve how one views their own body. To Blaire, her body image is really important. By not feeling comfortable with how she looked like a male before the gender transition, Blaire took to surgery to change her body image into a woman. That got rid of her body dysphoria:
it consumes me all the time – it’s about luxury – it about looks – what’s crazy is like obviously i transitioned because I was uncomfortable with my body. And transitioning like helps a lot like in terms of like my dysphoria went away.
Unfortunately, the body dysphoria got replaced by body dysmorphia (this is when someone is obsessed with the flaws in their own appearance, even when it is something minor and not that visible to others):
But what got replaced with it or what replaced it rather was like this dysmorphia and this eating disorder. Because it’s like okay you know i always wanted to go through life being perceived as a woman. And then you get there. Tou’re like okay now it’s about being like attractive. It’s different than just transitioning.
After transitioning into a woman, Blaire started to have weight problems. That’s what led to the eating disorder
Blaire White reveals that after she got chestal and facial surgery, she could not work out anymore. Her body had undergone a significant change because previously she was a man. So, for a while, she could not work out as she used to. As a result, she gained some weight. Moreover, Blaire also shares that since a woman have different hormones, that lead to her gaining weight faster as compared to when she was a boy:
I used to literally eat like every day of my life it was because when i was like a boy it was like the hormones like cut me thin i feel like. But estrogen made me get a lot of weight. And estrogen scientifically it makes you like hold more water weight and all kinds of stuff.
Moreover, she reveals that comments about her weight on social media added to the problem as well.
Blaire White ended the video by stating that if any disorder is affecting your life in a significant way, you should get help. And possibly, she might too. She also wanted to open up about this because if anyone out there is suffering from an eating disorder, she wants them to feel seen and not alone.